take me along !!

take me along where you are ,

don't leave me alone ,

so incomplete i am .

come on white horse ,

take me away far away ,

need you love .

hold me in your arms ,

never let me go ,

so restless i am .

kiss me everlasting ,

you're a drug ,

need you to live.  

love me endless ,

you're my life ,

so lifeless i am .

engagement in hurry !!

my dream of yesterday was Engagement in hurry....

I am in office at the moment...suddenly , mom calls up " come home soon..your engagement has been fixed " I ran from office , all drenched and tired , i reach home..its all over crowded with relatives and friends...as if engagement itself was a planned surprise for me...

I told mumma , " me going to parlor" and mom says no..no time left...Imagine , i reach my own engagement function all plain...

Angel is looking at me lovingly...even though i look so plain..I am sad..and my baby holds my hand and tells me , " you look more beautiful simple and sober" and me pampered chick says " huuhhhhh , don't you talk to me..."

i am annoyed and Angel says , " you look so hot when angry " he is such a darlinggg , and my mom is shouting on me and telling her son in law , " don't spoil her with your love , be strict " 

all my Angel does is look at me with so much love and plant a kiss on my forehead which speaks aloud , i would love you always....

and i wake up with a bright smile on my face...and the first words of the morning were , " I love you baby "

miss you

“Distance never seperates two hearts that really care,

 for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there.

 But whenever I start feeling sad 

cuz I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am 

to  have someone so special to miss.”

my kiddo bf !!

guys are no less than school going kids.....they get annoyed for no reason and behave like tiny tots....

My own  Angel  , got angry.....for no good reason....they always tell us how we should be mature and how they keep reminding us to grow up....

and when it comes to them..guys just never grow up..the desire to be loved and pampered is immensely bestowed within their hearts...

now..see how he got angry..and how i am pampering my li'l baby....maan jao naa :P :P

he is a small baby..and i so much love to pamper my baby...awwwww.....its strange , how we both are angry at each other and we both calm down after certain time....touchwood..

I can never thank god enough to send me this angel in my life who brightens up each day...love you.....

my sweetest sweetheart fears loosing me..i know...all i got to say baby is i am never gonna do anything that would go against us....never...

life without you.....i can't visualize..and therefore it doesn't exists..so..all we got to do is hold hands tighter because we are gonna end forever....

i do not want to be remembered as romeo Juliet who died in love..rather proud grandparents who are still madly in love with each other....

love you forever....

being healthy means being beautiful..

I visited a doctor last night and she kinda opened my eyes...Being Beautiful is being Healthy !! If we eat and drink well , we are naturally making ourselves beautiful....

Skin glows when you drink 8 - 10 glass of water each day...Cheeks go red when you have enough vitamins and minerals inside you.....Lips are rosy pink when your hemoglobin level is high..You get inside the best clothes when your daily routines is well balanced with regular exercise and balanced diet..

A aah....I am becoming more and more conscious about my health and beauty.....Pat on my shoulders..good going...Angel was worried for me too....Doctor said my Hemoglobin , iron , potassium and protein level is low...what's left...fats and carbohydrates..lolzzz

But now I am gonna be strict with myself...because i wana look my best...

Mom did told me . " How are you going to take care of your new family If you can't take care of yourself." 

True..mumma......

Angel is such a sweetheart..he explains me like a small tot...he said women start facing problems after 30's if iron and calcium is less...He told me to eat 5 fruits each day...no burgers ..no pizaaa...no pasta........I don't need a doctor to..angel is everything to me.....

love you babieeeeee

How much i wana steal away the moments of togetherness..How I am dying to be wrapped in your arms…how each day without you is a punishment for me…

Come back …its been long….seasons have changed….summers are about to leave….winters already bid good bye…why are we still separate ?

I can’t explain how much I am dying to be with you forever….how much I wana get tied in knot with you…I am developing beautiful images of future with you…of our own family….I am growing….I can feel that..with the changing seasons , I am a new person each day…

I am mentally stronger human being….

I am dreaming….i am waiting..i am praying…I am wishing……come back Angel….

awkward moments

some moments confuse me..i wonder should i be the one smiling or crying for them to happen..

attended a cousin's engagement ceremony yesterday..now i am the next one....everyone knows..than why does everyone has to come to me and tell me " you are the next " it really doesn't makes me happy....

mom cried..when she saw my cousin coming ...she visualized me there...i felt bad..but somehow i controlled my tears....my mom loves me a lot...the pain i have in my heart is manifold in front of her pain..

why do we girls have to sacrifice.....why do we need to leave our families to have our love...why can't we have both just like guys keep holding on to both all their lives...

it hurts.....i was being taken to one ceremony where it ensures i get married within next six months..although , i do not believe in all this.....It was the most embarrassing moment of my life ..i never appreciated being center of attraction..everyone was looking at me.....they all were talking about me...i cried.....

and i was attracting attention again unknowingly....they all knew i am crying....

These awkward moments made me realize how much my family cares for me..how my relatives can do anything to bring back that smile on my face..i love you all.....

I am still lost....hopefully writing down it all may help....

i feel stronger...

I realize I am becoming stronger each day…the love between us is giving me strength...slowly I am realizing how much I can do to have him in my life…

No matter, things turn out to be unplanned…we are meant to be together and we would be …

Its strange how I speak things just what he expects me to speak…I am becoming mature enough not to consult anyone and take my own stand…

Love is such a vast emotion….in a way; all other feelings are a part of it…

I have this very strong feeling inside my mind that whatever I am doing is the best I could…somewhere at the back of my mind , I know he is going to support me  always..

May be it’s the undying faith we bestow on each other that makes us overcome everything else…

He surprised me today..by sending my favorite purple flowers..from U.S..to receive flowers from your bf on your official birthday at your office is undoubtedly special and it feels like a bliss...i love you bacha...so....much.... I know we are made for each other and we would be together…

I am gonna make you mine….

manunikki

" Manunikki" is a word very close to my heart...nikki is me and manu is he....:) :) 

Aren't we , madly in love with each other...how both of us desire to end the mess and come closer ..no matter who was wrong...no matter who said what...no matter ..you say sorry or me...but all we need is we patch up within hours...or minutes....

i love us....not you...not me...but us....:) 

had a fight with angel..he was upset due to whole lot of things...i tried to calm him down and all of a sudden..lost it all....we did not talked for quite a few hours...

And we both feel this emptiness within us when we do not talk a single day...or do not say i love you to each other...we did talked...he switched on his phone to talk to me..and i had been trying him ...

touch wood....let the love between us grow more and more each day :) :) cause its only he who can calm me down when i am angry and vice versa

mom is not at home..i need to cook food and come to office..and go back home and again make dinner...ah...cum back soon mum...:) :) 

feeling lost..

Moments when your heart is not with you....It stays quiet like a small annoyed child who prefers not to speak because he is not heard...


when I feel lost in wilderness cause my heart doesn't tells me what it desires....why is my own heart ignoring me ?


Is it I did ignored it....


What's my fault in it dear heart ?? how can i get you something that is miles away from my physical self.....i always keep you filled wit the love of him....why do you make my eyes and ears and lips desire for it...why are you conspiring against me ? you know well , i need to be strong....why do you leave me to myself......


dear heart...I am loved only cause you belong to me...you are one of the purest of hearts i had ever met....they all love you....just cause they can't make you feel loved every time....doesn't really means they don't...


can you please stop being a kid and learn to be patient....


can you please start talking loudly again.....can you please start beating at the normal pace.....can you please stop making me feel i am dead...dead already....


make me feel your presence.....my heart....one more time....

unsatisfied

Moments when nothing gives solace.....I feel like talking to nobody in this world...I feel like being all alone with myself....yet i so think about someone coming and giving me a tight hug and saying , " everything is gonna be fine "

When I do not feel good about the things and people who made me happiest....I feel like running away...far away..from everyone...hide somewhere , so that no one can rescue me from my loneliness....

dryness.....all around me....

i need love.....i need you my love......

being happy is simplest of all...

just realized today.....how simple it is to be happy....all I got to do is think about good things that happened to me in my past..and think about all the good things that are happening with me in present and visualize all good things are going to happen in my coming days.....

its just that easy...happiness is plainest of all feelings....it requires no great efforts..we can create happiness as and when we like...all we need is some true friends in our lives who are there any hour of the day....some people who love us with all their hearts..

The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up ♥ ♥

Changes should be welcomed....as they make you a better human being....Thanks to Bebo..She made me realize that I have been worrying about something that actually is an illusion..She helped me look at the beautiful side of things which I could not see !!

Angel would not be coming back a few more months....I lost my mind when I heard that....when something hurts me , nothing reaches my heart...just nothing...only the words keep coming back to me the ones that hurt me.....

I would be flying off too , most probably for a year or so...I realized it would be a wonderful experience if I keep aside the feelings of leaving my family and friends...and ain't it better than living here without him...If I have him..I have the whole world....

It would be a new learning experience...It would be as good as a honeymoon for one complete year...I would get to know about a new place...new people..and the bliss would be that it would be only me and him in an alien land....its like a fairy tale....and i had been spoiling my mood thinking about all the crap...

happiness comes to me on its own..and i keep worrying about things that actually do not exist....silly and stupid me....

bear hugs to all my angels out here..thanks for such inspiring words you leave here...Life comes as a bliss with you....

craving to write..

I am feeling a strong desire to write....Its like addiction to smoke a cigarette...It makes me feel restless...

weird what all i am thinking about...when i actually have a thousand reasons to smile and be happy...Angel makes me feel on top of the world..its a pure ecstasy what i feel with him...

I feel like wrapping him in my arms till forever....i want the time to stop for a few months when next time he and me are together...cause now things are going to be a li'l more special....our parents know about us...we are going to be married soon....things are going to change....

my home would be a new place..i would call his parents mum and dad....i don't know how the things are going to be worked upon...but one thing i am sure about is things are going to revolve...

I need you...

Love is all around me..yet i feel love less...Its something i want eagerly and desperately...but I fail to reach....I want to leave behind all my flaws and enter the perfection....I do not speak much....when surrounded by folks..i feel shy..i feel insecure..the fear of rejection keeps haunting me.....although i know deep inside my heart that people around me stand no where in comparison with me....

I want to change myself .....cause my life is gonna change....I easily get hurt,things pinch me long after they had happened...Its unfair but I do carry grudges in my heart...I do carry pains and sufferings i wana get rid from....I want to look different..I am tired of soft , innocent looks...i wana look glamorous and attractive to eyes....I wana  be in perfect shape...I wana spend money on myself...i am really bad at spending at myself..i spend a lot in buying gifts for my loved ones..but when it comes to me..i am kajus...

This is not done na...this shows lack of love for myself....the weird things i am jotting down is the result of PMS..hope you guys bear with me.....i need love..so badly..love in each and every form...adorable ,caring , protective ,possessive and passionate...sometimes , we crave more for love....